Tag: one liners

Wine Jokes

My friend gets annoyed when I mess with his red wine. I added some fruit juice and now he's sangria than ever.

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of wine jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….       A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew.   A friend said a wine he tried recently was bitter and not properly fermented. Sounds… Continue reading Wine Jokes

Headphone Jokes

A friend just gave me some new headphones. That's music to my ears.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of headphone jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Was going to plug my keyboard into the headphone socket of my laptop but was worried I might end up stereotyping.   A friend just gave me… Continue reading Headphone Jokes

Element Jokes

The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of element jokes about the various members of the periodic table. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.   Gold walked into a bar.… Continue reading Element Jokes

Zebra Jokes

The zookeeper told me I wasn't allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.

Right to the end of the alphabet for this week’s page of puns and one liners, which are on the theme of zebra jokes, with no mention of anything being black and white and red all over… And of course, they come with the normal warning of no guarantee of hilarity or originality.    … Continue reading Zebra Jokes

Jigsaw Jokes

Went to a fancy dress party as a jigsaw piece but didn’t like it. I just didn’t fit in.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of jigsaw jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I was so tired this morning that after half an hour trying to do a jigsaw of a tiger, I realised it was actually a packet of Frosties.  … Continue reading Jigsaw Jokes

Octopus Jokes

People sometimes confuse the plural of octopus, it's one octopus, two octopuses, 3.14 octopi.

For no particular reason, the topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Octopus Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       An octopus held up the local bank. Apparently he was well armed.   How much effort does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten… Continue reading Octopus Jokes

Bell Jokes

I saw a toddler with a tiny Edam strapped to his bike. Must have been his baby bell.

It’s nearly Christmas, and today sees the winter solstice, so as Jethro Tull – the band, not the agriculturalist – would say, Ring Out Solstice Bells! Here are some bell jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man goes into a library and asks for… Continue reading Bell Jokes

Time Travel Jokes

Time travel classes: Starts 1915.

Last week’s Doctor Who jokes went down well, so on a similar theme this week, here are some time travel jokes. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny, and you might have to be a time traveller to go to a time when they were new…       I heard a really… Continue reading Time Travel Jokes

Road Jokes

I was taking the road out of the city the other day when someone told me to put it back.

Welcome to 2015.  My first page of one liners and pus this year is about road jokes, possibly because of my six hour drive earlier this week after a Christmas holiday visit.  As normal, don’t expect these to be particularly original or funny…     I know someone in a band called White Line. They’re… Continue reading Road Jokes

Scarecrow Jokes

I saw a chap fighting with a scarecrow once. I thought, "he's just clutching at straws".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scarecrow Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…  although appropriately enough, these are more corny than normal.       A scarecrow friend of mine tried out as a stand up comedian, but he was too corny.   Another scarecrow… Continue reading Scarecrow Jokes