Tag: one liners

Toe Jokes

Small male ants use their toes to float on water. They are buoy ants. Larger types can't float on milk because they lack toes in taller ants...

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Toe Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never dropped a turnip on their toe.   A friend told me that… Continue reading Toe Jokes

Sponge Jokes

My next door neighbours have a front door made of sponge. Lots of locals don't like it, but have to admit, I can't knock it.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Sponge Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       What’s yellow and spongy? A sponge.   How much deeper would the oceans be if it wasn’t for all the sponges?   What’s 300m tall and made… Continue reading Sponge Jokes

Cable Jokes

I watched some cable last night. Wasn't that interesting, it didn't really do anything.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Custard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I was going to get an electric car but I can’t find a cable long enough to keep it plugged in.   Police arrested a man who… Continue reading Cable Jokes

Custard Jokes

What's 300m tall and made of jelly and custard? The Trifle Tower.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Custard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.   What’s… Continue reading Custard Jokes

Pint Jokes

My friend used to always say "Pints! Litres! Gallons!". That spoke volumes.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pint Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Saw a woman in a pub playing snooker & balancing a pint on her head. Beatrix Potter.   A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman… Continue reading Pint Jokes

Bee Jokes

Friend of mine keeps taking all of one letter out of the bag when playing Scrabble, and doesn't play them. He's a beekeeper.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Bee Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Friend of mine keeps taking all of one letter out of the bag when playing Scrabble, and doesn’t play them. He’s a beekeeper.   I saw a… Continue reading Bee Jokes

Disappointing Jokes

Bought a book called 1001 Uses for Binary. Got home and was disappointed to find out there were only nine entries.

Arguably many of the pages on this site are full of disappointing jokes… this week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Disappointing Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Disappointed at the local airport information desk. I asked them which island had the… Continue reading Disappointing Jokes

Fork Jokes

The fork and the spoon used to be good friends, then the fork realised the spoon kept stirring things.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Fork Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Luke Skywalker & Obi Wan Kenobi were in a restaurant eating with chopsticks. Spotting that his friend was struggling with the cutlery, Obi Wan said “use the forks, Luke”.… Continue reading Fork Jokes

Tyre Jokes

Went to a restaurant recently who served me a tyre souffle. They have a Michelin star.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tyre Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a tyre for my car last year for £120. Cost £180 today. That’s inflation for you.   I left by bike beside a wall the other day, and… Continue reading Tyre Jokes

Brick Jokes

A lorry load of Lego bricks has overturned on the motorway. Police say they don't know what to make of it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Brick Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof.   Had some ice cream recently that tasted of brick. Turned out it was Walls.   Went… Continue reading Brick Jokes