This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Squirrel Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in the countryside. One of the pupils replies, “five badgers and a squirrel”.
A friend of mine has started the new trendy Squirrel Diet. It’s just nuts.
Saw a squirrel looking after the local store of winter nuts. He was the branch manager.
The zoo didn’t like me lining the squirrels up in order of height. They don’t like me critter sizing.
Saw a squirrel having a boxing match with a hedgehog in my garden. The hedgehog won on points.
Just found out that squirrels store food for the winter – nuts!
I asked a squirrel what an acorn was. He said, “it’s an oak tree, in a nutshell”.
I asked a squirrel how he knew where he nuts were buried. He said he uses acorn-nyms.
Saw a squirrel hiding some nuts under a bush. He was hedging his bets.
Thought I saw a squirrel frying potatoes. Turned out to be a chip monk.
If you like these squirrel jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.