Pear Jokes

I tried growing genetically modified apples but it's gone pear shaped.
I tried growing genetically modified apples but it's gone pear shaped.

We’ve had various fruit based jokes before including apples, lemons and bananas, so continuing the occasional theme, here are some pear jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. If you like them, have a go at playing Guess My Fruit.




Went to the shop today to buy some pears, lemons and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.


A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.


Who is an apple’s favourite pop singer? Katy Peary.


Why did the pear go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date.


I wondered if Noah liked apples, then I realised he preferred pears.


I tried growing genetically modified apples but it’s gone pear shaped.


What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.


Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…


Bought some pears, the label said “store in a cool place”. So I left them in the Doctor Who studios.


A pear growing friend’s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. They make smoothies.


Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.




Last week’s pancake jokes are here.


If you like these pear jokes, then have a look at the alphabetical list of joke topics over here.

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