This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Shoulder Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Friend of mine was feeling down, so I let them add some colour to my tattoos. They just wanted a shoulder to crayon.
If I owned Head and Shoulders shampoo, I’d release a body wash called Knees and Toes.
Friend parked in a hospital car park. Attendant came up and said “this is for badge holders only”. He said “but I’ve got a bad shoulder…”
Local giraffe graduated early from university. He was head and shoulders above his class.
I used to be friends with a snowman, then he gave me the cold shoulder.
Car broke down on the motorway and reduced me to tears. At least I had a hard shoulder to cry on.
People don’t like me reading over their shoulder on trains. I think it’s because I do all the voices.
I wondered how many shoulders vamopires have. I decided to count scapula.
If you like these shoulder jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.