Tag: witty

Bear Jokes

Every time someone says "bear in mind", I think of Paddington.

Another random topic this week, here are a series of bear jokes, and no mention of walking into a bar as everyone knows that one. That said, there’s no guarantee of originality or hilarity here as usual…       What’s cold, white and smells minty? A polo bear.   What do you call Paddington… Continue reading Bear Jokes

Font Jokes

I was going to insult someone using paragraph formatting tools. It would have been entirely justified.

I had a conversation this week about different typesets, and how interesting they are, and as such, thought what better a topic for this week’s one liners than Font Jokes? Don’t expect them to be too funny or original… …and if you are interested in the history of fonts – it’s much more interesting than… Continue reading Font Jokes

Jam Jokes

A friend keeps having nightmares about half eaten bananas. We suspect it's a mid-Fyffe crisis.

This week’s collection of one liners takes the form of jam jokes, although it does stretch as far as marmalade… As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…       “I was in a play called breakfast in bed once”. “Did you have a big role?” “No, just toast with a… Continue reading Jam Jokes

Queue Jokes

Got stuck in traffic for so long the other day that even the sat nav said "Are we nearly there yet?"

This week’s topic for one liners is queue jokes, or standing in line jokes for those on the other side of the Atlantic.  Don’t worry, there’s not a long wait for these, but there might also be not too much hilarity or originality….         Saw a bunch of people eating burgers whilst… Continue reading Queue Jokes

X-Ray Jokes

Superman inherited his X-ray ability from his family. He has parental super vision.

I started an alphabetical list of my pages of puns recently and it made it clear that there are some letters that seem less popular than others. So, here are some X-ray jokes to get another letter started. As normal, they come with no guarantee of humour or originality.       I had a… Continue reading X-Ray Jokes

Zoo Jokes

I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo. It was bread in captivity.

Going wild this week with some zoo jokes, please do enjoy. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I went to the zoo and saw an antelope. I had never seen an insect get married before.   I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He… Continue reading Zoo Jokes

Water Jokes

I thought about splashing out on a water bed.

The inspiration for this week’s page of one liners was a bottle of water on a table, so here are some water jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.   Every… Continue reading Water Jokes

Light Jokes

Found out the difference between a hippo and a Zippo. One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Spring is here, British Summer Time has arrived, and the sun is shining, so this week here are some light jokes. Not lightbulb jokes though as that’s a whole other genre. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality… A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with… Continue reading Light Jokes

Programmer Jokes

I love pressing the F5 key. It's refreshing.

We were swapping IT related one liners in the office this week, so here are some programmer jokes for all techies out there. Don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…       Why do Java developers often wear glasses? They can’t C#. A SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables… Continue reading Programmer Jokes

Hotel Jokes

The reason that no one has returned to the moon for so long is that every time someone tries to book a hotel there, it's full...

I’ve spent the week in Spain at Formula One Winter Testing, so after a week in a hotel, a series of hotel jokes seems a good idea for this week’s one liners and puns. Don’t expect these to come with too much hilarity or originality…       A chap checks into a hotel, and… Continue reading Hotel Jokes