alarm clock

Clock Jokes

Clocks seem to be all the rage at the moment, with Wednesday having been “Back To The Future Day”, the day that Marty McFly went forward in time to in the second of the films, and with clocks changing this weekend. We’ve had time jokes and time travel jokes before, so there may be a little bit of recycling here with these clock jokes… As normal, don’t expect these to be too funny or original…. Don’t forget, clocks go forward continuously…



On any clock, 11:59:59 am is my favourite time of day. It’s second to noon.


I heard that the British Horological Society was looking for nominations for new members, so I put my clocks forward.


Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.


I held up my clock to a mirror. It was time for reflection.


“At the third stroke, it will be six o’clock, my precious.” My new Tolkein Clock.


I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made. I wonder what he’s getting up to now?


For sale: Clock with half a face. For a limited time only.


Interesting to hear about plans to install a clock face on the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It will have the time and the inclination.


Got a new 24 hour clock yesterday and it’s broken already. It only lasted a day.


There’s a competition to find the country’s best time piece. I’ve put my clock forward.


I saw a billboard with a picture of a clock on it. I guess that’s a sign of the times.


I love grandfather clocks big time.


Went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock. Got really irritated, everyone was winding me up.


Had a look at the cuckoo clocks. Tickety boo.


How can you tell when your clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.




Last week’s airport jokes are here.

If you like these clock jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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