It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale

Pig Jokes

Pigs have been in the news recently as we have entered the Year of the Pig, so in tribute to the lovely, clever creatures, here are some pig jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee oh hilarity or originality…

 
 
 

A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet. I’m going to see their production of swine lake.

 

Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen.

 

What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day? I’m bacon.

 

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic Pork.

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh…
What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig.
What do you call a bear with no ears? Anything you like, he can’t hear you….

 

I thought a pig was tapping my phone because there was so much crackling on the line.

 

One day, I’m going to buy three pigs, write 1, 2 and 4 on them, take them to a shopping centre and see how long security spend trying to find number 3.

 

I always won the farmyard game of hide and seek until one of the animals started telling everyone where I was. I think it was the pig who squealed.

 

A man goes to the cinema and is surprised to see a pig sitting in the seat next to him. “What are you doing here?” he asked the pig. “Well, I enjoyed the book”.

 

I read a story about pig anatomy. It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.

 

I went to see a pig friend’s new house. It was quite stylish.

 

I saw a pig with laryngitis. He was disgruntled.

 

Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me. It was a hambush.

 

and a few old corny classics:

 

How do you take a pig to hospital? In a hambulance.

 

What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment.

 

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porky-pine.

 

What do you call a karate trained pig? A pork chop.

 

What happened when the pig pen broke? They had to use the pig pencil.

 

What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede? Bacon and Legs.

 

 

 

 

If you like these pig jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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