Library Jokes

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on 'Finding Bigfoot'. The librarian directs him to the large print section.
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on 'Finding Bigfoot'. The librarian directs him to the large print section.

It seems that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage, so it seemed that it would be a good topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns, so here are some library jokes.  Of course, if these were in a library, it is unlikely that the Dewey Decimal system would have them filed under either “original” or “funny”….

 

 

 

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on floor panels. “No” the librarian replied, “We keep them on shelves here”.

 

A chap walks into a library and asks for a book about cliffhangers. The librarian says…

 

Just discovered that there’s a library in my village. They kept that quiet.

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on the laws of probability. The librarian says “it might be on the shelf over there”.

 

A woman walks into a library and asks for a book about curiosity. The librarian says “why do you want that”?

 

A chap walks into a library, and the librarian cuts the bottom off his trousers and sticks it in a novel. He thinks, “that’s a turn up for the books”.

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a book about coincidences. The librarian says, “this one has just arrived”.

 

A woman walks into a library and asks “Do you have Great Expectations?”. The librarian says “I hope to be the manager by the end of he year”.

 

Got a book from the library on Stockholm Syndrome. Didn’t like it at first, but by the end I thought it was great.

 

Not impressed by the local library. It’s a one storey building.

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. The librarian says “this is a library!”. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”.

 

I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes.  He said, “It’s behind you”.

 

A man walks into a library. The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading books are out”.

 

I went into the Library and said I’m looking for a book on how to let customers down politely. The librarian said, “I’m terribly sorry sir but I can’t help you with that”. I said ‘Yes that’s the one”

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on ‘Finding Bigfoot’. The librarian directs him to the large print section.

 

 

 

Last week’s dream jokes are here.

If you like these library jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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