Library Jokes

It seems that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage, so it seemed that it would be a good topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns, so here are some library jokes.  Of course, if these were in a library, it is unlikely that the Dewey Decimal system would have them filed under either “original” or “funny”….

 

 

 

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on floor panels. “No” the librarian replied, “We keep them on shelves here”.

 

A chap walks into a library and asks for a book about cliffhangers. The librarian says…

 

Just discovered that there’s a library in my village. They kept that quiet.

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on the laws of probability. The librarian says “it might be on the shelf over there”.

 

A woman walks into a library and asks for a book about curiosity. The librarian says “why do you want that”?

 

A chap walks into a library, and the librarian cuts the bottom off his trousers and sticks it in a novel. He thinks, “that’s a turn up for the books”.

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a book about coincidences. The librarian says, “this one has just arrived”.

 

A woman walks into a library and asks “Do you have Great Expectations?”. The librarian says “I hope to be the manager by the end of he year”.

 

Got a book from the library on Stockholm Syndrome. Didn’t like it at first, but by the end I thought it was great.

 

Not impressed by the local library. It’s a one storey building.

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. The librarian says “this is a library!”. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”.

 

I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes.  He said, “It’s behind you”.

 

A man walks into a library. The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading books are out”.

 

I went into the Library and said I’m looking for a book on how to let customers down politely. The librarian said, “I’m terribly sorry sir but I can’t help you with that”. I said ‘Yes that’s the one”

 

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on ‘Finding Bigfoot’. The librarian directs him to the large print section.

 

 

 

Last week’s dream jokes are here.

If you like these library jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.