Calendar Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Calendar Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…


I like to mark my calendar with bright neon colours. It’s the highlight of my day.

I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 24 days…

A friend got fired from his job at a calendar factory. All he did was take a day off …

On the 13th day of the 13th month I realised I’m never going to buy a cheap calendar again.

Bought a 1960s music themed advent calendar. The doors are massive.

My calendar won’t last long. It’s days are numbered.

Someone has removed the fifth month from all of my calendars. I’m dismayed.

Finally realised my calendar was printed upside down. Then we had an interesting turn of events.

My calendar only has dates like the 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th. It’s very odd.


If you like these calendar jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *