Zombie Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Zombie Jokes… As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

Going to the Rockies on holiday, and I’ve been told that in the event of a bear attack, play dead. To avoid any risks, I’m going to dress as a zombie all through the holiday.

What do you do if zombies are attacking your house? Surround it with treadmills.

Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.

Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.

Best place to hide from zombies? The living room.

Always get really scared when I see a queue of zombies approaching. Never liked dead lines.

What do you call a zombie who writes music? A decomposer.

Saw some undead cheese. It was zom-brie.

Never do a stand up routine to a zombie audience. Told them all my best jokes and all they would do was groan.

Why didn’t the zombie cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.

Where do zombies go swimming? In the Dead Sea.

What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grains…

Why do zombies speak Latin? It’s a dead language.

If you like these zombie jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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