This week’s corny jokes: More one liners

A friend asked me if I had seen the film "Tractor". "No", I replied, "but I've seen the trailer".
A friend asked me if I had seen the film "Tractor". "No", I replied, "but I've seen the trailer".

Continuing the theme of Friday being the day for old, unoriginal, corny jokes, here are some one liners for today… and as normal don’t expect originality or hilarity…



“You’re not my real ladder!” I shouted at my step-ladder…


A friend asked me if I had seen the film “Tractor”. “No”, I replied, “but I’ve seen the trailer”.


Been invited to an 80s fancy dress party, although my wife doesn’t want me to dress as a pop star for it.  I’m adamant…


Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?


I mixed oxygen with potassium. Is that OK?


U2’s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them. It certainly takes the Edge off them.


Nietzsche join Facebook; Thus poked Zarathustra.


A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, “A carrot”.


William Shakespeare walks into a bar. The barman says “Oi! You’re bard.”


Two friends of mine used to work in a shop window. They were called Curt & Rod.


Someone threw a lump of cheese at me the other day. I looked at it and thought “That’s not very mature”


I hear that the cavalry have given up their experiment with battery powered mechanical horses. Apparently they don’t charge quickly enough.


I threw away my ghostly boomerang when I was little. 10 years on, it flies out of nowhere, and hits me in the back of the head! I always knew it would come back to haunt me…


Consonant please. Now a vowel. And another consonant. Alphabeti Spaghetti can take a long time to serve in my house.


I found myself in Gerry Rafferty’s Ladies Boutique the other day. Gowns to the left of me, chokers to the right…


Information on how to kill a circus. Go straight for the juggler.


I asked the doctor if he could cure my measels. He said he doesn’t make rash promises.


The Bermuda Triangle used to be called The Bermuda Rectangle until one side mysteriously vanished





Last week’s cheesefest can be found here.

If you like these one liners, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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