Worst thing about being called Spartacus is that someone else always seems to get my taxi

Taxi Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners come in the form of taxi jokes. Let yourself be taken away by these, but don’t expect the destination to be originality or hilarity…




What’s worse for traffic than when it’s foggy? When it’s hailing taxis.


My friend always went the extra mile at work. That’s why he lost his job as a taxi driver.


Another friend quit his job as a taxi driver. He got fed up with people telling him where to go.


Went to the taxi driver reunion. Everyone turned up half an hour late.


A taxi driver sees two bags of crisps strolling along the side of the road. He stops and asks if they need a lift. One says “no thanks, we’re Walkers”.


Someone jumped in my taxi, pointed to a chap in front and shouted “Follow him”. I said, “Sure, what’s his twitter handle?”


Worst thing about being called Spartacus is that someone else always seems to get my taxi.


Heard a great new band called “Taxi”. They are tipped to go all the way.


Didn’t like being a taxi driver. I was convinced people were talking behind my back.


What did the taxi driver say to the wolf who got into his cab? “Where wolf?”


I shared a London taxi with a group of spotty youths. Think it was an acne carriage.


A friend had an interview for a job a local taxi company. He turned up twenty minutes late, and the chap interviewing him said “the job’s yours


A chap I know have up his job as a taxi driver. He kept driving his customers away.


…and the old classic… A chap jumps in a taxi says, “King Arthur’s Close”. The taxi driver says, “Don’t worry I’ll lose him at the lights”…




Last week’s neck jokes are here.

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