snake size

Snake Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of snake jokes, for no particular reason. They just happen to rhyme with last week’s cake jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…




I’m a bit worried about the snake that ate the Meccano set. Apparently he’s now a boa constructor.


A friend of mine crossed a physicist with a snake and got a Bohr Constrictor.


My pet snake is exactly 3.14 metres long. He’s a πthon.


Think I’ve annoyed my friend’s pet snake. It’s had a bit of a hissy fit.


I know a snake who works for government. He’s a civil serpent.


A bottle of venom walks into a bar. The barman says “sorry mate, we don’t serve snakebite in here”.


Got mugged by a cobra once when I was walking through the park. Wouldn’t recognise it again though, it was wearing a hood.


Which snakes are best at mathematics? Adders.


What’s the best unit of measurement of snakes? Inches, as they don’t have any feet.


A sheep, a drum and a snake all fell over. Baaa Dum Tsss..!


I’ve got a magic snake. Addercadabra.




Last week’s cake jokes are here.

If you like these snake jokes, there is an alphabetical list of joke topics here.

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