Tag: one-liners

There Are Two Types of People jokes…

There are two types of people in the world. Those that finish what they start.

A conversation over coffee this week seemed to feature lots of one-liners that featured the starting phrase, “There are two types of people in the world…” or something similar, so here are a series of Two Types of People jokes.  That said, if one of the types of people is those that post original and… Continue reading There Are Two Types of People jokes…

Horse Jokes

A racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage. The barman says "you can't come in here with those trainers".

This week’s series of one-liners and puns takes the form of horse jokes.  They, as ever, come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…     Got annoyed when I found out someone had used my raw materials for a new scarecrow to feed their horse. That was the last straw.   What do you… Continue reading Horse Jokes

Plane Jokes

Bought a new plane the other day. Disappointed that they wouldn't let me keep the hangar.

We have had one liners about other forms of transport before, and this week, the topic for the puns is plane jokes, so hopefully these will get off to a flying start. As normal, don’t expect them to take off with too much hilarity or originality…       Just saw an aircraft made of… Continue reading Plane Jokes

Field jokes

I saw a field with only one tree in it. I thought, "That doesn't look poplar".

No particular reason for the topic this week, but this page of one liners and puns is all about field jokes.  As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.  And these are not outstanding in their field…     Two cows in a field. One says “Moo”. The other says, “I was going to… Continue reading Field jokes

Interim Management Jokes

Another friend got a job as a postman. On his first day, he was handed a letter. He looked at it, and thought “this isn’t for me”.

I’ve posted jokes on various topics and sometimes do get requests. My colleague Martin suggested a topic of interim management for this week’s one liners, which is rather specific, but I think there are a few out there… As normal, these Interim Management Jokes come with no guarantee of funniness or originality.      … Continue reading Interim Management Jokes

Firework Jokes

Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket this year. He's over the moon.

This week saw the 5th November, when in England the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 is remembered with fireworks and bonfires, so the topic for this week’s one liners and puns is firework jokes. As normal, don’t expect originality or hilarity; some of these are probably older than the Gunpowder Plot…     I’m good at… Continue reading Firework Jokes

Insect Jokes

Saw a fantastic film about a very large insect. It was XL ant.

After last week’s spider jokes proved popular, the next natural topic seems to be insect jokes. Or, at least, as much as any topic for these jokes seems to make sense. As normal, they come with no guarantee of originality or funniness. Although these ones might bug you a bit more….     What do… Continue reading Insect Jokes

Spider Jokes

A friend has a bizarre fear of spiders in raincoats. Anorakaphobia.

I was having a conversation about odd foods this week which became a debate about spiders, and hence, the topic of this week’s one-liners and puns is spider jokes. Well, what did you expect to find on the web? Of course, these have no guarantee of funniness or originality…       Was going to… Continue reading Spider Jokes

Banana Jokes

A friend keeps having nightmares about half eaten bananas. We suspect it's a mid-Fyffe crisis.

There is something inherently funny about bananas. Even the name is somehow amusing. Think of all those physical slapstick routines features a banana skin on a pavement somewhere, or those jokes like “time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana”. In their honour, here are some banana jokes, although as normal they are… Continue reading Banana Jokes

Washing Jokes

Friend told me he had set up business washing mice and rats. Thought it was dodgy at first, then realised it was squeaky clean.

This week’s topic for one liners and puns is washing jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…       Decided to change my washing powder. It’s a bold move.   Been invited to a hair washing party. I’ve no excuse not to go.   Asked a girl who works in the… Continue reading Washing Jokes