Tag: puns

Castle Jokes

I sleep in a castle once every two weeks. It's my fort night.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Castle Jokes. You may need some defense from these… Of course, they come with the usual lack of guarantee of funniness or originality.       Dracula has moved out of his castle for a few weeks.  It’s getting a revamp.   I tried reading… Continue reading Castle Jokes

Pizza Jokes

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate pizza long before it was cool.

I had a pizza earlier in the week, and for some reason, it made me think that pizza would be a good topic for the jokes this week. Anyway, here are some pizza jokes, although without an extra topping of either originality or humour…       I was arguing with a friend in Pizza… Continue reading Pizza Jokes

Tomato Jokes

I like to put coriander on my blended tomatoes. It's soup herb.

Last week, a page all about potatoes, and with an equal lack of reason, this week a page of tomato jokes.  I have left out a couple of the really obvious ones, but still as much corn as tomato here.  Don’t expect too much originality or humour as always, and stand far enough away if… Continue reading Tomato Jokes

Potato Jokes

A friend was in a band called the Powdered Potatoes. They had a smash hit.

There’s no particular reason for the topic of this week’s puns, so here is a page of potato jokes.  They may chip away at you…  As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny or original….       You never see King Edwards or Jersey Royals presenting sport on TV. Only Common Taters.  … Continue reading Potato Jokes

Economy Jokes

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? None, if it was broken, the market would fix it.

Another week, another request for a topic.  Well, sort of.  Heidi and I were discussing the pros and cons of quantitative easing recently, and that seemed as good as any, so here are some economy jokes.  Of course, of all the revelations you might find here, originality and funniness are unlikely to be among them.… Continue reading Economy Jokes

Walks Into A Bar jokes

A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”.

I’ve had a request this week for a topic for the puns and one liners, so thanks to Phil, this week’s page is A Man Walks Into A Bar jokes.  I have left out the most obvious ones, but there is still no guarantee of originality or funniness…  No doubt, some of you will want… Continue reading Walks Into A Bar jokes

Karaoke Jokes

Someone took a photo of me singing REM songs at karaoke. That's me in the corner.

I had the joy last weekend of spending a couple of hours in a karaoke room with a group of friends, and whilst the best policy was “what happens in the karaoke room stays in the karaoke room” applies – my lack in singing talent was made up for with enthusiasm – it seems that… Continue reading Karaoke Jokes

Bike Jokes

A friend of mine works for a company that makes bikes. He's their spokesman.

I’m writing this in early January, and there seem to be even more people than normal out on bikes at the moment. No doubt New Year resolutions for many include getting fit, and I’m sure there were plenty of new bicycles that arrived as Christmas presents a couple of weeks ago, so this week the… Continue reading Bike Jokes

Road Jokes

I was taking the road out of the city the other day when someone told me to put it back.

Welcome to 2015.  My first page of one liners and pus this year is about road jokes, possibly because of my six hour drive earlier this week after a Christmas holiday visit.  As normal, don’t expect these to be particularly original or funny…     I know someone in a band called White Line. They’re… Continue reading Road Jokes

Curry Jokes

I ordered a pelican curry the other night. It tasted ok but the bill was enormous.

It’s Boxing Day, which means that there are plenty of people out there making turkey curry – and turkey sandwiches and all sorts of other turkey based dishes, no doubt – so what better topic for today’s puns and one-liners than curry jokes.  As normal, don’t expect an original recipe, or too much added funniness…… Continue reading Curry Jokes