Tag: puns

Apple Jokes

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, why don't Daleks hide in orchards?

This week’s collection of one liners takes the form of apple jokes. We have had various fruits and vegetables as the topic before, so this time it’s the turn of the ever popular apple.  Some may be rather similar to other fruit based jokes. They come as normal with no guarantee of humour or originality…… Continue reading Apple Jokes

Cricket Jokes

A friend of mine is a retired cricket umpire. He doesn't lift a finger now.

Both of the Ashes series – for male and female cricketers – are under way keeping the England and Australia teams busy, so the topic of this week’s one liners is cricket jokes. As normal, they may not be the funniest or most original…       Which birds are rubbish at cricket? Ducks.  … Continue reading Cricket Jokes

Ice Cream Jokes

My favourite superhero is Ice Cream Man.

Ice Cream Jokes seemed a good topic for this week’s puns and one liners. As normal, they come with no added topping of originality or funniness…       Where do you learn to make complicated ice cream dishes? Sundae School.   Asked the man in the ice cream van for a cone. He asked… Continue reading Ice Cream Jokes

Addiction Jokes

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

It has been pointed out that, given the number of motor racing events that I have been to recently, perhaps I am at least a little bit addicted to the sport. So, it seemed that addiction jokes were as good a topic as any for this week’s puns and one liners. As normal, they come… Continue reading Addiction Jokes

Summer Jokes

My company is better at making sun cream than our competitors, but I don't like to rub it in.

The sun has arrived, and it seems that summer has started, so here are some summer jokes, one liners and puns. As always, they come with no guarantee of brightness, originality or funniness… What did the air conditioning unit say to its owner?  I’m your biggest fan. My company is better at making sun cream… Continue reading Summer Jokes

Fast Jokes

Which part of Scotland was also Formula One World Champion? Ayr Town Centre.

This weekend sees the Goodwood Festival of Speed, followed by the British Grand Prix next weekend, so here is a series of speedy one liners on the topic of fast jokes.  As normal don’t expect these to be in pole position in the originality or hilarity stakes…       I saw a chap chatting… Continue reading Fast Jokes

Window Jokes

I wrote a story once about a broken window. It's saved in my drafts.

I was looking out the window thinking about the topic for this week’s puns and one liners, so the idea of window jokes seemed as good as any. As normal, don’t expect these to be too funny or original, and you might see right through them…       Heard that burglars used a potato… Continue reading Window Jokes

Spot Jokes

A friend has an illness that's given him a fever and a rash. At least his wifi is better with all the hot spots.

We’ve had a chickenpox outbreak at home, although thankfully I’ve been spared (so far), but as I’ve been thinking about rashes and illness this week, here are a series of spot jokes. Of course, the humour from these jokes may not be infectious, and you may well have heard them before…       I… Continue reading Spot Jokes

Dinosaur Jokes

A friend asked me which writer had the best dinosaur stories. I suggested he try Sarah Topps.

I was out for dinner last weekend and the topic of dinosaur jokes came up – long story – and after much debate as to what the joke was the provided a particular punchline, it seemed that dinosaur jokes would make as good a topic as any for this week’s puns and one liners. Some… Continue reading Dinosaur Jokes

Seal Jokes

Why are seals good at motor racing? Because they are often in pole position.

Someone told me a joke this week about a seal, so it seemed as good a topic as any, so here are some seal jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality. The joke that I was actually told was too visual to explain here, so here are a few more instead…… Continue reading Seal Jokes