Tag: one-liners

Superhero Jokes

My favourite superhero is Ice Cream Man.

I was in a conversation this week about a superhero fancy dress party, which ended up in a few related jokes, which seemed like as good a topic as any for this week’s puns and one liners, so here are some superhero jokes. However, this collection does not include super powers like excessive humour or… Continue reading Superhero Jokes

Chess Jokes

Got a job working shifts as a piece in a 24 hour human chess game. I'm on knights this week.

This week’s one liners and puns come in the form of chess jokes.  Hopefully they will not require you to think too much, although they equally will not require you to laugh or think of them as being originality.       I had dinner once with a Chess Grand Master in a restaurant with… Continue reading Chess Jokes

Frog Jokes

What creature do you need to park in a restricted area? Permit The Frog.

It was pointed out to me this week that there was no specific page on frog jokes here, so I thought that it was time to remedy that, so here some that come with no guarantee of originality of funniness….       When I was at the zoo, I saw something like a frog… Continue reading Frog Jokes

Television Jokes

Saw a 70s television programme about two detectives who solve crimes over the phone. Star Key and Hash.

The topic for this week’s puns and one liners is television jokes. Here they are, with the normal no guarantee of funniness or originality…  Although thankfully there aren’t too many repeats on this.       You never see King Edwards or Jersey Royals presenting sport on TV. Only Common Taters.   What does Dr… Continue reading Television Jokes

Spring Jokes

I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It's a spring onion.

After a wet start to last weekend, the weather changed and by Easter Monday the sun was shining, which has continued this week, so it seems as good a time as any to have some spring jokes. I hope these bring you some sunshine, but it is unlikely that they will bring you too much… Continue reading Spring Jokes

Egg Jokes

A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.  The barman says, "Who's first?"

It’s Easter this weekend, so it seems as a good a time as any to have some egg jokes. Now, eggs give plenty of opportunities for puns, so this could be a long list… The only things missing are probably hilarity and originality…     Where’s the best place to find out about eggs? In… Continue reading Egg Jokes

Traffic Jokes

Got a new job as a traffic warden, and started basic training. Thought to myself, "that's just the ticket."

I had one of those mornings yesterday where traffic was worse than normal, and three hours into what should have been a 45 minute journey, I turned back as I was still only – as Bon Jovi would say – half way there. Every cloud though has a silver lining, and the traffic seems a… Continue reading Traffic Jokes

Coffee Jokes

I've got an old bag of coffee grounds that I keep for sedimental reasons.

The topic of this week’s one liners and puns is coffee jokes.  The drink might come in all sorts of varieties, as espressos, lattes, cappuccinos and the like, but these come in one variety: neither original or that funny.  At least they are all short…     Don’t think I could cope with a job… Continue reading Coffee Jokes

Lemon Jokes

Friend of mine lost his job at the lemon factory. He couldn't concentrate.

Often, the topic for the week’s one liners is from a random source, and this week is one of those. No idea why, but here are some lemon jokes. Hope they don’t leave a sour taste. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny or original…     Went to the shop today to… Continue reading Lemon Jokes

Phone Jokes

Left my phone under my pillow last night and when I woke up it was gone and there was a pound coin there. I think it was the Bluetooth fairy.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Phone Jokes. Don’t be too shocked though, like with most ring tones, at a lack of originality or humour.       I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said “Hello?”, so I said “Sorry, wrong number” and hung up.   Friend… Continue reading Phone Jokes