Tag: one liners

Origami Jokes

Local origami shop is getting busier and busier. They told me their business is in creasing.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Origami Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Flicking through the channels, I spotted the World Origami Championships, but it was paper view. A friend stopped his origami classes because there was too much paperwork. Joined the National Origami Society,… Continue reading Origami Jokes

Scooby Doo Jokes

Got concerned when I saw Mystery Inc putting aluminum on my allotment. I think they were trying to foil my plot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scooby Doo Jokes, and come as a request. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… “Quiz time: name one of the biggest animals you might see on safari”.“Rhino!”“I know you do, Scooby, but give someone else a go this time”. Scooby… Continue reading Scooby Doo Jokes

Strike Jokes

Staff at the local laundrette have walked out half way through pressing my clothes. Apparently they believe in striking whilst the iron is hot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Strike Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Local amateur poultry team had their new star striker chicken banned. Apparently he was a professional fowl. “Three strikes and you’re out!” My bowling team doesn’t like show offs. Greek mythological team… Continue reading Strike Jokes

Sky Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sky Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Disappointed that the bank turned down a mortgage on a building for my Desserts by Drone business. They said it was just pie in the sky. I haven’t done sky diving yet,… Continue reading Sky Jokes

Tear Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tear Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… On eBay; “For sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. Usual wear & tear”. Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can leave you in tears has never dropped a turnip on their… Continue reading Tear Jokes

Surface Jokes

Heard about a performer who walks on water whilst singing opera songs. It's all about the surface aria.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Surface Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive. Went to my allotment recently and someone has added loads of mud… Continue reading Surface Jokes

Morse Code Jokes

Somebody asked me what represents S in morse code. I said…

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Morse Code Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s the longest morse code message? The 100 yard dash. Ok, got to go off and grow some hair on my upper lip. Must dash. When I was at the zoo,… Continue reading Morse Code Jokes

Sugar Jokes

I can use either hand to put sugar in my tea. I'm ambidextrose.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Sugar Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham. He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?” A lorry load of strawberries has crashed… Continue reading Sugar Jokes

Hedgehog Jokes

What do Sonic the Hedgehog, Alexander the Great and Edward the Confessor have in common? Same middle name.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hedgehog Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw a squirrel having a boxing match with a hedgehog in my garden. The hedgehog won on points. Was driving home the other evening, and my sat nav said “bear left”. It… Continue reading Hedgehog Jokes

Luck Jokes

I often say to myself, "what good luck that the cloning maching works".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Luck Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… My Lucky Dip was full of bits of clay. Turned out I’d entered the National Pottery. Worried I couldn’t restore lost files from my laptop, but luckily I had a back up… Continue reading Luck Jokes