Octopus Jokes

People sometimes confuse the plural of octopus, it's one octopus, two octopuses, 3.14 octopi.

For no particular reason, the topic for this week’s puns and one liners is Octopus Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       An octopus held up the local bank. Apparently he was well armed.   How much effort does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten… Continue reading Octopus Jokes

Bell Jokes

I saw a toddler with a tiny Edam strapped to his bike. Must have been his baby bell.

It’s nearly Christmas, and today sees the winter solstice, so as Jethro Tull – the band, not the agriculturalist – would say, Ring Out Solstice Bells! Here are some bell jokes, and as normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man goes into a library and asks for… Continue reading Bell Jokes

Road Jokes

I was taking the road out of the city the other day when someone told me to put it back.

Welcome to 2015.  My first page of one liners and pus this year is about road jokes, possibly because of my six hour drive earlier this week after a Christmas holiday visit.  As normal, don’t expect these to be particularly original or funny…     I know someone in a band called White Line. They’re… Continue reading Road Jokes

Scarecrow Jokes

I saw a chap fighting with a scarecrow once. I thought, "he's just clutching at straws".

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Scarecrow Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…  although appropriately enough, these are more corny than normal.       A scarecrow friend of mine tried out as a stand up comedian, but he was too corny.   Another scarecrow… Continue reading Scarecrow Jokes

Football Jokes

Great start to the season for Lion King FC: a win away, a win away, a win away...

This weekend sees the World Cup final, so it seems a good opportunity to have a few football jokes. Most seem to be about a specific team or player, but I thought I would stay neutral and just go for the silly… As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality… If you’re… Continue reading Football Jokes

Colour Jokes

I went to the doctor and said "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". He said "It's just a pigment of your imagination"

Happy Friday everyone (if you are reading this on a Friday).  The topic of this week’s puns and one-liners is colour jokes, and I hope that you enjoy this collection of colourful comments and witticisms.  As always, no guarantee of originality or funniness…       I went to the doctor and said “I keep… Continue reading Colour Jokes