Custard Jokes

What's 300m tall and made of jelly and custard? The Trifle Tower.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Custard Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.   What’s… Continue reading Custard Jokes

Pint Jokes

My friend used to always say "Pints! Litres! Gallons!". That spoke volumes.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Pint Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Saw a woman in a pub playing snooker & balancing a pint on her head. Beatrix Potter.   A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman… Continue reading Pint Jokes

Bee Jokes

Friend of mine keeps taking all of one letter out of the bag when playing Scrabble, and doesn't play them. He's a beekeeper.

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Bee Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Friend of mine keeps taking all of one letter out of the bag when playing Scrabble, and doesn’t play them. He’s a beekeeper.   I saw a… Continue reading Bee Jokes

Disappointing Jokes

Bought a book called 1001 Uses for Binary. Got home and was disappointed to find out there were only nine entries.

Arguably many of the pages on this site are full of disappointing jokes… this week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Disappointing Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Disappointed at the local airport information desk. I asked them which island had the… Continue reading Disappointing Jokes

Fork Jokes

The fork and the spoon used to be good friends, then the fork realised the spoon kept stirring things.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Fork Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Luke Skywalker & Obi Wan Kenobi were in a restaurant eating with chopsticks. Spotting that his friend was struggling with the cutlery, Obi Wan said “use the forks, Luke”.… Continue reading Fork Jokes

Tyre Jokes

Went to a restaurant recently who served me a tyre souffle. They have a Michelin star.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tyre Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Bought a tyre for my car last year for £120. Cost £180 today. That’s inflation for you.   I left by bike beside a wall the other day, and… Continue reading Tyre Jokes

Brick Jokes

A lorry load of Lego bricks has overturned on the motorway. Police say they don't know what to make of it.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Brick Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof.   Had some ice cream recently that tasted of brick. Turned out it was Walls.   Went… Continue reading Brick Jokes

Wine Jokes

My friend gets annoyed when I mess with his red wine. I added some fruit juice and now he's sangria than ever.

This week’s puns and one liners take the theme of wine jokes. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality….       A friend has an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew.   A friend said a wine he tried recently was bitter and not properly fermented. Sounds… Continue reading Wine Jokes

Headphone Jokes

A friend just gave me some new headphones. That's music to my ears.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of headphone jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Was going to plug my keyboard into the headphone socket of my laptop but was worried I might end up stereotyping.   A friend just gave me… Continue reading Headphone Jokes

Element Jokes

The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

This week’s series of puns and one liners take the form of element jokes about the various members of the periodic table. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.   Gold walked into a bar.… Continue reading Element Jokes