Tag: one liners

Parking Jokes

Parking a single car doesn't take much effort. Parking a fleet of cars, that takes a lot.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Parking Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Where do you leave your spaceship when you visit the moon? At a parking meteor. Saw a parking sign that said “Reserved”. I thought, I’m a bit of an introvert, so I… Continue reading Parking Jokes

Radioactive Jokes

Saw a radioactive cat. It’s got eighteen half-lives.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Radioactive Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got a pain after eating some radioactive isotopes. Think I had atomic ache. In the canteen at a nuclear power plant, they’re serving fission chips. Saw a radioactive cat. It’s got eighteen… Continue reading Radioactive Jokes

Reservation Jokes

A public speaker told me he was going to complain about his function reservation being cancelled but he has no room to talk.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Reservation Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Turned up at the hotel lobby with a friend, the chap said “do you have reservations?”. “Yes”, I said, “I suspect the beds will be lumpy and the breakfast buffet poor”. Tried… Continue reading Reservation Jokes

Panda Jokes

Heard a story about someone who crossed a panda with a harp, turned out to be a bear faced lyre.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Panda Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… What’s black and red all over? A panda with measles. What’s black and white, has eight wheels and goes fast? A panda on roller skates. All these years of technological developments and… Continue reading Panda Jokes

Jump Jokes

A friend of mine hurt himself trying to jump over a wall whilst dressed as a clown. It was his own stupid vault.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Jump Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Really don’t like it when someone jumps in the elevator and presses all the buttons. It’s wrong on so many levels. Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team.… Continue reading Jump Jokes

Nut Jokes

A friend of mine has started the new trendy Squirrel Diet. It's just nuts.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Nut Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Did a great palindrome swap. A nut for a jar of tuna. A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “in a nut shell, it’s an oak tree”. I had to… Continue reading Nut Jokes

Encyclopedia Jokes

A friend was arrested for stealing a copy of an encyclopedia. He told the police that he could explain everything.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Encyclopedia Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Where’s the best place to find out about chickens? In a hencyclopedia. I put my encyclopedia in the fridge to get some cold hard facts. I love the audio version of the… Continue reading Encyclopedia Jokes

Election Jokes

Local bees are voting. They're all heading to the pollen station.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Election Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I was going to vote for better slides in parks in the local election, but unfortunately I live in a swing constituency. Weird election result where everyone has to say “aaah” like… Continue reading Election Jokes

Hippo Jokes

I like the elephant school, I enjoy the rhino college, but my favourite is the hippo campus.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hippo Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… If you say you say you’re a fan of pachyderms but only like rhinos, elephants, pigs and tapirs, then you’re being hippo critical. Hippos can run and swim faster than humans, which… Continue reading Hippo Jokes

Kiss Jokes

I tried to kiss a bird once and ended up with a peck on the cheek.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Kiss Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I never kiss anyone on 1st January. It’s the first date. Went into a pub and asked if they did hot chocolate. The barman said “I’ll give it a go. It started… Continue reading Kiss Jokes