Tag: jokes

Internet Jokes

When Dracula shops online, he keeps clicking on the button that says "Your account".

The topic for this week’s one-liners and puns is Internet jokes, so a collection of funnies about this wonderful medium through which we communicate. As always, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality….       It’s not always easy shopping on eBay. I searched for cigarette lighters, and got over 10000 matches.… Continue reading Internet Jokes

Train Jokes

A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.

As I was on the train on the way home last night, I thought hat a good topic for this week’s puns and one-liners would be train jokes, so here are a collection of railway related gags. As always, don’t expect them to be too funny or too original…     A friend got to… Continue reading Train Jokes

Hat Jokes

Spotted a chap playing tennis in a hat the other day. Think it was Roger Fedora.

This week’s collection of one-liners and puns is made up of hat jokes, for no particular reason. As always, these jokes come with no guarantee of being either funny or original…       “I just bought a new hat” “Fedora?” “No, for me.”   I saw an advert saying “Hairpieces from £5”. I thought,… Continue reading Hat Jokes

Ship jokes

Which sailors blow their noses most often? The Anchor Chiefs.

I’ve had the joys of a ferry crossing this week, which has made me think of ship jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of being either funny or original…       Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? He was afraid of cap sizing.   I saw a chap… Continue reading Ship jokes

Book Jokes

I'm looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but the library only has manuals.

Rather than a page about joke books, this one is about book jokes; a series of jokes, puns and one-liners related to jokes.    These jokes come with the usual caveats that they may be neither original nor witty.  I hope you like them anyway…       A man goes into a library and… Continue reading Book Jokes

Vampire Jokes

One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

This week’s collection of one-liners and puns is made up of vampire jokes, which begs the comment, “they really do suck”…  As normal, the jokes come with no guarantee of funniness or originality….       On reflection, vampires aren’t that scary.   If vampires have no reflection, how do they do their hair?  … Continue reading Vampire Jokes

Photography Jokes

I had to give up my career as a photographer. I kept losing focus.

You may have spotted that I like to take a photo or two, and somehow photography and cameras has managed to avoid being a feature of the regular Friday one-liner pages, so it seems time to rectify that.  Here is a list of photography jokes, and a few camera jokes, and of course they come… Continue reading Photography Jokes

Holiday Jokes

Going for a budget version of a holiday to Derbyshire this year. Staying in the Off Peak District.

This week’s collection of bad puns and one-liners takes the form of holiday jokes, or at least some puns about travel and destinations. I do hope that you enjoy… Of course, they come with the usual caveats of no guarantee of funniness or originality.       Saw the world’s biggest fan last week. It… Continue reading Holiday Jokes

Cow Jokes

Why do cows have hooves rather than feet? Because they lactose.

For some bizarre reason, cows have been quite a theme for me this week, and as such, the appropriate theme for this week’s puns seemed to be cow jokes. I had a relatively recent encounter with some cows, there are some details here.   These come as always with no guarantee of funniness or originality…… Continue reading Cow Jokes

Hairdresser Jokes

I like watching football matches when I'm at the hairdressers. The coverage is the same but the highlights are better.

I had a look at what searches commonly bring people to this site, and one of the most popular is – oddly enough – hairdresser jokes, so I thought it was time to add some hairdresser jokes, puns and one-liners, although this list includes lines about hair, and a lack of hair.  If you are… Continue reading Hairdresser Jokes