Tag: jokes

X-Ray Jokes

Superman inherited his X-ray ability from his family. He has parental super vision.

I started an alphabetical list of my pages of puns recently and it made it clear that there are some letters that seem less popular than others. So, here are some X-ray jokes to get another letter started. As normal, they come with no guarantee of humour or originality.       I had a… Continue reading X-Ray Jokes

Zoo Jokes

I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo. It was bread in captivity.

Going wild this week with some zoo jokes, please do enjoy. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I went to the zoo and saw an antelope. I had never seen an insect get married before.   I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He… Continue reading Zoo Jokes

Water Jokes

I thought about splashing out on a water bed.

The inspiration for this week’s page of one liners was a bottle of water on a table, so here are some water jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.   Every… Continue reading Water Jokes

Light Jokes

Found out the difference between a hippo and a Zippo. One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Spring is here, British Summer Time has arrived, and the sun is shining, so this week here are some light jokes. Not lightbulb jokes though as that’s a whole other genre. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality… A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with… Continue reading Light Jokes

Butter jokes

I'd tell you a rumour about some butter on a piece of toast but you might spread it.

I had a conversation about butter – among other things – earlier this week, so a page of butter jokes seemed to be as good a topic as any. As normal, don’t expect too many that are hilarious or original…       My local florist isn’t into butter. They’re not interflora either.   “I… Continue reading Butter jokes

Umbrella Jokes

Asked my iPhone, "surely I don't need an umbrella today?". Siri replied "yes, and don't call me Shirley". Turned out I had left Airplane mode on.

Hopefully spring is now here and the need for umbrellas will be less frequent after a wet winter, so here are a few umbrella jokes to whet your appetite.  As normal, don’t expect hilarity or originality…       An economist friend told me to put something away for a rainy day.  I’ve gone for an… Continue reading Umbrella Jokes

Programmer Jokes

I love pressing the F5 key. It's refreshing.

We were swapping IT related one liners in the office this week, so here are some programmer jokes for all techies out there. Don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…       Why do Java developers often wear glasses? They can’t C#. A SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables… Continue reading Programmer Jokes

Yacht Jokes

A friend has cooking utensils on his exotic yacht. Pyrex of the Caribbean.

This week’s topic for one liners and puns is yacht jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality, but I do hope they float your boat…       Why are fast yachts like popular furniture stores? Both always seem to have a sail on.   Which sailors blow their noses… Continue reading Yacht Jokes

Hotel Jokes

The reason that no one has returned to the moon for so long is that every time someone tries to book a hotel there, it's full...

I’ve spent the week in Spain at Formula One Winter Testing, so after a week in a hotel, a series of hotel jokes seems a good idea for this week’s one liners and puns. Don’t expect these to come with too much hilarity or originality…       A chap checks into a hotel, and… Continue reading Hotel Jokes

Garden Jokes

Why is Hulk such a good gardener? He's got green fingers.

It may be frosty weather here at the moment, but it won’t be long until spring is here, the grass needs cut and we are back in our gardens enjoying nature and outdoor living, so here are a few garden jokes to get you ready. As normal, they come with no guarantee of originality or… Continue reading Garden Jokes