Tag: funny

Oven Jokes

Nothing changes when I'm trying to make posh bread in the oven. I'm just stuck with the status dough.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Oven Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Made a small gesture of appreciation towards my oven the other day. It was a micro wave. A hipster friend of mine cooks everything in a microwave. He doesn’t like conventional ovens.… Continue reading Oven Jokes

Giant Jokes

Heard a rumour of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Giant Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I’ve discovered the secret of a long life. Be born as a giant tortoise. I’ve got a fear of giants. It’s called Feefiphobia. Local shoe company decided to make a giant sandal.… Continue reading Giant Jokes

Hacker Jokes

The worst thing about hackers finding your password is having to rename your dog.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Hacker Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Why is it easy to hack an excavated pyramid? It’s unencrypted. Wasn’t hard to crack Forrest Gump’s wifi password. 1forrest1 Friend of mine just lost his job as a hacker. I told… Continue reading Hacker Jokes

Question Jokes

"Are you capable?" First question I was asked in my superhero interview.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Question Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I went to a pub quiz last night. I could tell it was a rough place when the first question was “What are you looking at?” I’m selling a broken pub quiz… Continue reading Question Jokes

Squirrel Jokes

A friend of mine has started the new trendy Squirrel Diet. It's just nuts.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Squirrel Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in the countryside. One of the pupils replies, “five badgers and a squirrel”. A friend of mine has started… Continue reading Squirrel Jokes

Yoghurt Jokes

Opened the fridge to find a series of statues and paintings. Turns out I've left the yoghurt so long it's developed a culture.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Yoghurt Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Tried a green coloured frozen yoghurt the other day. It was mint. I saw a yoghurt floating across my kitchen. I think it might be paranormal activia. As I walked into my… Continue reading Yoghurt Jokes

Calculator Jokes

The minus key on my calculator is broken, but on the plus side it still works.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Calculator Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Got stopped by customs with a calculator, an exercise book, and a slide rule. Apparently they’re instruments of maths instruction. Always trusted my calculator. I can count on it. Managed to get… Continue reading Calculator Jokes