Tag: corny

Pool Jokes

Took a dip in the local pool. The lifeguard said "what have you got there?" I said "hummus".

The topic for this week’s one liners is pool jokes, with the various meanings of the word pool included. As normal, they come with the warning that they may be neither hilarious or original…       I read a book called The Swimming Pool. It started out rather shallow but had a very deep… Continue reading Pool Jokes

Trampoline Jokes

Met the chap who invented trampolining. Nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

This week’s topics for one liners is one that has its ups and downs, so here are some trampoline jokes.  As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       Been washing my trampoline. Seemed time to do some spring cleaning.   I have a phobia of trampolines.. I can’t help it, they… Continue reading Trampoline Jokes

Crisp Jokes

Created a totally new flavour of crisp. If it's successful, I'll make a packet.

As normal, the topic for this week’s one liners is from random conversations, and so here are some crisp jokes. Don’t expect too much originality or hilarity.       I went into a shop and ask for some helicopter crisps. They didn’t have any, so I had some plain ones instead.   Saw a… Continue reading Crisp Jokes

Biscuit Jokes

Friend got sacked from his job at the Rich Tea factory. They said he took the biscuit.

We were playing Desert Island Biscuits this week – a bit like the better known Desert Island Discs, if you were stuck on a desert island and could take one type of biscuit with you, what would it be? – and it seemed a good topic for this week’s one liners, so here are some… Continue reading Biscuit Jokes

Rash Jokes

I shared a London taxi with a group of spotty youths. Think it was an acne carriage.

Another week when the topic for the one liners has come from my colleague Helen, so here are some rash jokes. As normal no guarantee of hilarity or originality, but luckily they are also not contagious…       I asked the doctor if he could cure my measles. He said he doesn’t make rash… Continue reading Rash Jokes

Ruler jokes

I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.

I was told a joke this week by my colleague Helen – but not the same Helen who came up with Swan Jokes – and so the topic for this week’s one liners is ruler jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I like jokes about stationery… Continue reading Ruler jokes

Cloud jokes

I connected my new phone to the cloud, then I had mist calls.

Looking out the window for inspiration for this week’s one liners, I’ve come up with the topic of cloud jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality with this collection of puns.       As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.   A Geordie chap walked into a hairdressers and asked… Continue reading Cloud jokes

Grape Jokes

I know a grape who spends his time sitting in the sun. It's his raisin d'etre.

The inspiration for this week’s page of one liners came from looking at the fruit bowl, so here are a page of grape jokes.  Of course, they come with the normal caveats of not being overly funny or original, and they might just make you let out a little whine….       Why did… Continue reading Grape Jokes

Coin Jokes

Are overworked coin makers at the Royal Mint the only people who are likely to strike because they want to make less money?

This week’s topic for the one liners and puns is coin jokes, so let’s hope these are good for a change… As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality…     When is it most likely to rain money? When there is change in the weather. Did you hear about the man who swallowed… Continue reading Coin Jokes

Swan Jokes

Got a friend who works in the repair section at the Swan Vesta factory. He's involved in match fixing.

It has been a warm week in the UK as the summer arrives, and a traditional summer activity has kicked off with Swan Upping on the river Thames.  In honour of that, my colleague Helen suggested that a page of swan jokes would be appropriate for this week’s one liners and puns, so here goes.… Continue reading Swan Jokes