Tag: corny jokes

Football Jokes

Great start to the season for Lion King FC: a win away, a win away, a win away...

This weekend sees the World Cup final, so it seems a good opportunity to have a few football jokes. Most seem to be about a specific team or player, but I thought I would stay neutral and just go for the silly… As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality… If you’re… Continue reading Football Jokes

Tennis Jokes

Not surprised by the high divorce rate among tennis players. Love means nothing to them.

I may be at Silverstone for the British Grand Prix this weekend – how exciting! – but there is another sporting event on in the UK which is likely to get just a little bit of attention, so with Wimbledon reaching its climax, this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is in the form of… Continue reading Tennis Jokes

Chair Jokes

I was working in a call centre when an irate caller asked to speak to someone higher up. So I stood on a chair.

The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one-liners is chair jokes. Here are a series of particularly short jokes on the topic.  As normal, they come with no guarantees of funniness or originality…     A friend of mine failed his chair exam. He’s going to resit.   How do you make a… Continue reading Chair Jokes

Internet Jokes

When Dracula shops online, he keeps clicking on the button that says "Your account".

The topic for this week’s one-liners and puns is Internet jokes, so a collection of funnies about this wonderful medium through which we communicate. As always, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality….       It’s not always easy shopping on eBay. I searched for cigarette lighters, and got over 10000 matches.… Continue reading Internet Jokes

Ship jokes

Which sailors blow their noses most often? The Anchor Chiefs.

I’ve had the joys of a ferry crossing this week, which has made me think of ship jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of being either funny or original…       Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? He was afraid of cap sizing.   I saw a chap… Continue reading Ship jokes

Holiday Jokes

Going for a budget version of a holiday to Derbyshire this year. Staying in the Off Peak District.

This week’s collection of bad puns and one-liners takes the form of holiday jokes, or at least some puns about travel and destinations. I do hope that you enjoy… Of course, they come with the usual caveats of no guarantee of funniness or originality.       Saw the world’s biggest fan last week. It… Continue reading Holiday Jokes

Colour Jokes

I went to the doctor and said "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". He said "It's just a pigment of your imagination"

Happy Friday everyone (if you are reading this on a Friday).  The topic of this week’s puns and one-liners is colour jokes, and I hope that you enjoy this collection of colourful comments and witticisms.  As always, no guarantee of originality or funniness…       I went to the doctor and said “I keep… Continue reading Colour Jokes

Hairdresser Jokes

I like watching football matches when I'm at the hairdressers. The coverage is the same but the highlights are better.

I had a look at what searches commonly bring people to this site, and one of the most popular is – oddly enough – hairdresser jokes, so I thought it was time to add some hairdresser jokes, puns and one-liners, although this list includes lines about hair, and a lack of hair.  If you are… Continue reading Hairdresser Jokes

Accent Jokes

Jousting. What a Brummie asks a bee.

These series of puns and one-liners are accent jokes, and specifically, British accent jokes, so they may not travel so well beyond that.  If you find yourself scratching your head wondering why it should be funny, then try it in the relevant accent.  If that doesn’t work, comment below and I will try to explain.… Continue reading Accent Jokes

Fancy Dress Jokes

I was about to go to a fancy dress party as a can of deodorant. My wife stopped me and said "Are you Sure?"

The theme for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is Fancy Dress Jokes, which come with the normal caveats that these may be neither funny nor original. I hope that you enjoy them anyway….       Just been let down by the people who work at the fancy dress shop after I tried… Continue reading Fancy Dress Jokes