Tag: corny jokes

Firework Jokes

Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket this year. He's over the moon.

This week saw the 5th November, when in England the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 is remembered with fireworks and bonfires, so the topic for this week’s one liners and puns is firework jokes. As normal, don’t expect originality or hilarity; some of these are probably older than the Gunpowder Plot…     I’m good at… Continue reading Firework Jokes

Dracula Jokes

When Dracula shops online, he keeps clicking on the button that says "Your account".

Last year at Halloween, we had Halloween Jokes, so this year, a bit more specific with Dracula Jokes. Of course, some of these are as old as the legends themselves, and certainly far from being either original or too funny…..       Do you think Dracula spends today online shopping, and keeps clicking on… Continue reading Dracula Jokes

Insect Jokes

Saw a fantastic film about a very large insect. It was XL ant.

After last week’s spider jokes proved popular, the next natural topic seems to be insect jokes. Or, at least, as much as any topic for these jokes seems to make sense. As normal, they come with no guarantee of originality or funniness. Although these ones might bug you a bit more….     What do… Continue reading Insect Jokes

Spider Jokes

A friend has a bizarre fear of spiders in raincoats. Anorakaphobia.

I was having a conversation about odd foods this week which became a debate about spiders, and hence, the topic of this week’s one-liners and puns is spider jokes. Well, what did you expect to find on the web? Of course, these have no guarantee of funniness or originality…       Was going to… Continue reading Spider Jokes

Banana Jokes

A friend keeps having nightmares about half eaten bananas. We suspect it's a mid-Fyffe crisis.

There is something inherently funny about bananas. Even the name is somehow amusing. Think of all those physical slapstick routines features a banana skin on a pavement somewhere, or those jokes like “time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana”. In their honour, here are some banana jokes, although as normal they are… Continue reading Banana Jokes

Lion Jokes

Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn't all bring their wallets, I ended up paying the lion's share.

A collection of lion jokes this week, for no particular reason. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…       My lion impression went down well.  A roaring success.   I would tell you about my dream involving a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe, but it’s Narnia business.  … Continue reading Lion Jokes

Bed Jokes

Not going to lie, my bed is broken.

This week’s collection of puns and one-liners take the form of bed jokes, for no particular reason. As normal, no guarantee of funniness or originality…   Heard a myth about a single bed placed on top of another one, and attached with a ladder. Fortunately, I was able to debunk it.   Not going to… Continue reading Bed Jokes

Fortune Teller Jokes

A friend started a career as a psychic, but gave it up. Couldn't see any future in it.

No particular reason for this week’s topic for the one liners and puns; here are some Fortune Teller jokes. Those with psychic powers might predict that these will not be either original or that funny… Two fortune tellers meet on the street. One says to the other, “You’re fine, how am I?” I saw a… Continue reading Fortune Teller Jokes

Tractor Jokes

A friend asked me if I had seen the film "Tractor". "No", I replied, "but I've seen the trailer".

My son Xander’s favourite word at the moment seems to be “Tractor”, so in his honour, this week’s puns and one-liners come with the theme of tractor jokes. As normal, don’t expect originality, or hilarity….     I haven’t seen that new film “The Tractor” yet, but I’ve seen the trailer.   A farmer friend… Continue reading Tractor Jokes

Commonwealth Games Jokes

It’s the Commonwealth Fishing event today. I hear it’s all online. Anyone got a good stream?

The UK finds itself in he wonderful position of hosting he world’s third biggest summer games at the moment, after hosting the second biggest – The WPFG – in Belfast in 2013, and of course, the biggest – The London Olympics – in 2012. So, in their honour, here are some Commonwealth Games jokes. Unlike… Continue reading Commonwealth Games Jokes