Lorry Jokes

A lorry load of marmite has crashed on the M4. It's on the yeast bound carriageway.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Lorry Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       Traffic jam caused by a lorry load of terrapins hitting a lorry load of tortoises. Turtle chaos.   Saw a film about a lorry load of shoemakers. What a… Continue reading Lorry Jokes

Electric Jokes

Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.

I was looking out a window trying to think of a topic for this week’s one liners and a pylon in the distance was the inspiration for a page on electric jokes. As normal, no guarantee of hilarity or originality, but they may be shocking…       Saw a bull caught in an electric… Continue reading Electric Jokes

Philosophy Jokes

Apparently Karl Marx's toilet plays music when it flushes because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

I got the first one liner below in my head yesterday and seemed to tell it over and over again, so it seemed that a good topic for this week’s puns is philosophy jokes.  Of course these words of wisdom may not contain originality or humour….       Apparently Karl Marx’s toilet plays music… Continue reading Philosophy Jokes

Tea Jokes

I used to think the film Alien was about making a cup of tea. “I can’t open this milk!” “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”

I was having a cup of tea thinking about what might make a good topic for a page of one liners for this week, and drew inspiration from that particular beverage.  So, here are a series of tea jokes, although they may provide less relaxation than a cuppa, and are unlikely to hold much hilarity… Continue reading Tea Jokes

Clown Jokes

A clown held a door open for me the other day. I thought, "what a nice jester".

Last weekend was Halloween and my costume for this year was that of a clown, and perhaps a rather scary one. It was suggested that this would be a good topic for some one liners, so here are a few clown jokes. Don’t expect them to be too funny or original….       Did… Continue reading Clown Jokes

Ghost Jokes

Read a book called "Wooooooooh". I suspect it was written by a ghost writer.

It’s Halloween this weekend, and as we have had Halloween, Vampire and Dracula jokes in the past, here are some Ghost Jokes. They come, as normal, with no guarantee of funniness or originality. In fact, you might recognise some that have appeared before.  They might cause more frights than laughs…       I’ve noticed that… Continue reading Ghost Jokes

Clock Jokes

I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made. I wonder what he's getting up to now?

Clocks seem to be all the rage at the moment, with Wednesday having been “Back To The Future Day”, the day that Marty McFly went forward in time to in the second of the films, and with clocks changing this weekend. We’ve had time jokes and time travel jokes before, so there may be a… Continue reading Clock Jokes

Airport Jokes

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant beside the airport terminal. I don’t think it will take off.

I’ve spent some time this week sitting in airports – bringing back memories of times when that was a much more frequent occurrence – and in the time that I was waiting, I was reminded of a few one liners on that theme, so here are some airport jokes.  They may not take off, and… Continue reading Airport Jokes

River Jokes

Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.

I had a pleasant view this week in a meeting looking over the Thames, so river jokes seemed as good a theme for this week’s puns and one liners as anything else. So, as normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.  … Continue reading River Jokes

Tower Jokes

Tripped whilst climbing a tower in Paris. I fell.

Here are some tower jokes. I hope you enjoy the puns and one liners, but don’t be too surprised if they are not top on originality or hilarity.       I tried reading a book about a tower with the drawbridge up, but I couldn’t get into it.   Tripped whilst climbing a tower… Continue reading Tower Jokes