Tag: corny jokes

Fish Jokes

I'd tell you a joke about herbs and fish but this isn't the thyme or the plaice.

Someone sent me some fish jokes this week, so it seemed a good choice for this week’s one liners, so here are some fish jokes. As normal, don’t expect too much originality or hilarity.       I had a cup of coffee with a penguin yesterday.  He said he would have preferred a fish.… Continue reading Fish Jokes

Yellow Jokes

What's yellow and can't swim? A JCB.

I am not entirely sure why I chose this topic for the week’s one liners, but here are some puns on the theme of yellow jokes.  As normal, don’t expect too much originality or hilarity…       Friend of mine is in an 80s tribute band who wear yellow metal plates. Banana Armour.  … Continue reading Yellow Jokes

Badger Jokes

Out clubbing the other night, and DJ Badger was playing. Great sett.

I seemed to end up wearing a badger mask this week, so why not badger jokes as the topic of the one liners. As normal they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I was driving through the countryside when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a badger.… Continue reading Badger Jokes

Frost Jokes

Cold weather is here. Had to scrape ice of my windscreen this morning. Used my supermarket loyalty card. Only got 10% off.

Cold mornings have returned, and I had to find my deicer this week.  In fact, it took me so long to find my deicer that my car had already done the work, which gave me time to think of some frost jokes.  As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…       Cold weather… Continue reading Frost Jokes

Werewolf Jokes

How do you make a werewolf stew? Leave him waiting for the full moon.

It’s Halloween weekend and as we have previously had Ghost Jokes, Dracula Jokes, Vampire Jokes and Halloween Jokes, so this year here are some Werewolf Jokes.  As normal don’t expect these to be too hilarious or original…       How do you know if Father Christmas is really a werewolf? He has Santa claws…… Continue reading Werewolf Jokes

Fire Jokes

Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. It was a disco inferno.

It’s autumn, not long before the clocks change, and Halloween is around the corner. This week has seen us sitting at home in the evening with the fire lit, so the theme for this week’s one liners is Fire Jokes. As normal, don’t expect any originality or hilarity…       Bought a friend a… Continue reading Fire Jokes

Sandwich Jokes

Some friends are discussing the best way to make a toasted sandwich. I'm playing Breville's Advocate.

This week’s topic for one liners is sandwich jokes, so hopefully you will like the filling here.  As normal, they do not come with any guarantee of either originality or hilarity….       A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.   What is yellow and white and travels… Continue reading Sandwich Jokes

Glass Jokes

What do you call a woman who plays pool whilst balancing four pint glasses on her? Beatrix Potter.

The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is glass jokes, which as normal come with no guarantee of humour or originality…       Saw a chess player snacking on crisps whilst drinking from an exotic looking glass. Pawn Cocktail.   A friend’s pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With… Continue reading Glass Jokes

Tent Jokes

You can't run through a camp site, only ran. It's past tents.

As the summer comes to an end and the onset of Autumn starts, here are a few tent jokes to reminisce about the summer. As normal don’t expect hilarity or originality.       Why are circus clowns often stressed? Because their job is in tents.   Local farmer helped me in to his field… Continue reading Tent Jokes

Pool Jokes

Took a dip in the local pool. The lifeguard said "what have you got there?" I said "hummus".

The topic for this week’s one liners is pool jokes, with the various meanings of the word pool included. As normal, they come with the warning that they may be neither hilarious or original…       I read a book called The Swimming Pool. It started out rather shallow but had a very deep… Continue reading Pool Jokes