This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Tear Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
On eBay; “For sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. Usual wear & tear”.
Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can leave you in tears has never dropped a turnip on their toe.
Of course, they’re not called tears at a wedding. It’s eye dew.
Bought some low quality cardboard. It’s tearable.
Got upset when I couldn’t find any scissors to cut a coupon out of a newspaper. I was reduced to tears.
Every time I walk through baggage reclaim at an airport, I burst into tears. I’m case sensitive.
Bruce Banner only ever tears his shirt and not his trousers when he becomes the Hulk because of how it alters his jeans.
Friend of mine puts blood, sweat and tears into everything he does. Great guy, awful chef.
Car broke down on the motorway and reduced me to tears. At least I had a hard shoulder to cry on.
The world paper tearing champion passed away. RIP.
If you like these presents jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.