I can teleport

Sofa Jokes

This week’s collection of puns and one liners take the form of Sofa Jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… but if you do like your jokes corny, take a seat and have a read…




Heard about someone addicted to eating sofas. He’s got a suite tooth.


Someone stole my sofa. Thankfully it was recovered.


When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.


A man walks into a furniture shop in Glasgow and sits on a sofa. A chap working there says “Comfy?”, the man says “Paisley”.


One of my best childhood memories was falling asleep on the sofa and waking up in bed thinking “wow, I can teleport”.


A friend failed his Sofa Exam. He’s going to resit.


What does ET stand for? Because someone took his sofa.


I found a universal remote control down the back of the sofa, I thought to myself “this changes everything”.


Bought a new sofa recently and it comes with three years free credit. Great news for my phone bill.


Bought a new recliner sofa. Apparently if I don’t like it, I can take it back.


I have been trying to think of another relevant joke but have had no luck sofa.




Last week’s post office jokes are here.

If you like these sofa jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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