This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Running Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
My broken tap keeps getting fitter and fitter. It won’t stop running.
Turning my barn into a summerhouse. Got electricity in place, thinking of adding running water, but that might just be a pipe dream.
Unfortunately Cinderella didn’t make it as a footballer. She kept running away from the ball.
Running a bird sanctuary, I thought our pigeon expert could run the IT department, then I realised he’s better placed as COO.
A friend has got a job running a farm for Old McDonald. He’s the new CIEIO.
I saw someone running away with my gold necklaces. I shouted, “AU! Get Back here!”.
Saw an animal running off with all the hope that was left. Think it was Pandora’s Fox
I left my job running an air pump. Couldn’t handle the pressure.
Long story but I’m running late because I got handcuffed to a panda. Bear with me.
Saw a group of characters from Greek mythology in a running race. Dash of the Titans.
Asked a soldier why he was running away with a bottle of sparkling wine, apparently he was told to take cava.
Saw a bug running round in circles. I think it was trying to build up centipedal force.
Dracula didn’t like running a big business because of all the stakeholders.
If you like these running jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
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