This week’s puns and one liners take the form of pond Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
A friend of mine used to live in a duck pond, but he moved out when he got fed up with all the bills.
Two ducks on a pond in Belfast. One says “quack”. The other says “I’m going as quack as I can”.
Every time I take my dog to the pond he gets chased by ducks. He is pure bread.
I trained some fish to escape their pond. A koi, B koi and C koi all got away because everyone chased the D koi.
A chicken walks up to a pond and says “book book book!”. A frog looks at it and said “read it. read it”.
Why did the duck swim across the pond? He wanted to be a chicken.
Why did the elephants jump into the pond? they had their trunks with them.
How do you get a pen across a pond? Biro-ing.
Why shouldn’t you tell jokes on a frozen pond? It might crack up.
Dropped my phone in the pond. It’s syncing.
If you like these pond jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.

