Oyster Jokes

Surprised they wouldn't accept my Oyster card in the local Shell station...
Surprised they wouldn't accept my Oyster card in the local Shell station...

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Oyster Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

 
 
 

Oysters never donate to charity. They’re shellfish.

 

What’s made of chocolate, has a shell and lives at the bottom of the sea? An oyster egg.

 

A friend went to a shell fish disco and pulled a mussel.

 

Surprised they wouldn’t accept my Oyster card in the local Shell station…

 

An oyster I know has just split up with his girlfriend. She was just too deep for him.

 

I was driving along the road when someone asked me to give them a lift. I said, “You look great, the world’s your oyster”.

 

Couldn’t find my pet oyster the other day. Think he was using clamouflage.

 

Recent research has shown that oysters have developed an advanced method of communication. They use shell phones.

 

When oysters want to borrow money, they go to the prawn broker.

 

My oyster used to be really shy, then one day he came out of his shell.

 
 
 

If you like these oyster jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook.

Leave a Reply