Gambling Jokes

The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…



I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.


Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.


How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.


I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.


Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.


Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.


I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.


I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.


I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.


I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.


Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?


A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.


Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.



Last week’s snooker jokes are here.

If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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