As always, it’s Friday and Friday is cheesy jokes day… and as always, they are old, unoriginal and not actually that funny… but let’s hope that you like them anyway and might at least raise a smile.
Congratulations to all those finishing university at the moment. A friend just got his Microphone degree, graduating with a 1 2 1 2…
Sad to hear The Who’s old tour bus has finally broken down for good. It won’t get fuelled again.
I went to the doctor and said “I keep dreaming my eyes change colour”. He said “It’s just a pigment of your imagination”
A friend of mine is not making enough money as a waiter and needs a way to make more. Anyone got any tips?
Really posh burger van here. It has four Michelin tyres.
I gave some guy a lift today. Spent the whole journey talking about his favourite chocolate. It was the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
I’m looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but the library only has manuals.
News coming in about a flood in a lemonade factory. Apparently the staff have been Schwepped away.
I’m a bit worried about my neighbour, he’s been walking around the house shouting “Baggy trousers” all morning. I think it’s Madness.
I went to buy a camouflage outfit the other day, but I couldn’t find any…
A chap in the pub sold me a pirate Sat Nav. It tells you exactly where you arrrrr…
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. “No, I’m travelling light.”
Last week’s one-liners are here.
If you like these cheesy jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.