Calculator Jokes

The minus key on my calculator is broken, but on the plus side it still works.
The minus key on my calculator is broken, but on the plus side it still works.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Calculator Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

Got stopped by customs with a calculator, an exercise book, and a slide rule. Apparently they’re instruments of maths instruction.

Always trusted my calculator. I can count on it.

Managed to get some engineering calculations wrong by using the wrong pencil. It wasn’t 2B.

My calculator stopped working mid way through my engineering exam. I can’t count on it any more.

Told the detective that it couldn’t have been me as I was using my calculator at the time of the crime. He said, “well, that adds up”.

“It’s what’s on the inside that counts”, I said as I explained the chipset of a calculator to a friend.

The minus key on my calculator is broken, but on the plus side it still works.

Opened the post, and there’s a calculator, an abacus and a letter. Something just doesn’t add up.

Was going to buy a pocket calculator, then realised I only had a few pockets and could count them myself.

Farmer wanted to know how many were in his dairy herd, so he used a cowculator.

If you like these calculator jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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