His bank have called in the bay leafs

Banking Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are based on the theme of banking jokes.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…



I do enjoy getting cash out of the bank and then throwing it in the river and watching it float away. I like studying my cash flow.


A local bank is introducing a cash machine built in to a tree. If it’s successful, they might expand to other branches.


I’m worried about the state of my bank. I tried five different ATMs today and they’ve all told me they have “Insufficient Funds”.


Was invited to the Bankers’ Reunion but I lost interest.


I went to the bank and swapped 100 grapes for 50 raisins. Not sure about the currant exchange rate.


Went to the bank and they told me they could offer me a credit card with no interest. I said, “Why are you bothering then?


Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.


A banker friend told me to put something away for a rainy day. I’ve gone for an umbrella.


A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes. It’s a real money spinner.


A bank manager friend has given up riding his bike. He has lost his balance.


My bank manager doesn’t give my business ideas the credit they deserve.


Where’s the best place to store your rain? In a cloud bank.


My bank has opened an outlet in the local police station. It’s their special branch.


I’m not saying that my friend has a poor credit score but when he went to the bank for a loan, they wouldn’t lend him a pen to fill in the application.


A friend’s business “Cooking with Spices” has not been successful. His bank have called in the bay leafs.



Last week’s acting jokes are here.


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