Xylophone Jokes

This week’s puns and one liners are all on the topic of Xylophone Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…


Fantastic sale on slightly broken xylophones, great prices. They can’t be beat.


In a freak orchestra accident, I was hit on the head by a xylophone. I fear I may have percussion.


Friend of mine is allowed to play the xylophone in every opera. He’s got access all arias.


The conductor told the drums, xylophones, cymbals, bells and gongs to play their section twice. There will be re-percussions.


I keep hearing xylophones, cymbals and other percussion instruments in my loft. It’s very drum attic.


Saw a whale playing a xylophone. He was part of an orca-stra.


How do you make an out of tune cello sound good? Chop it up and use it as a xylophone.


What’s the difference between a glockenspeil and a xylophone? I used to know but I can’t marimba.


Worried about someone trying to steal my xylophone. I’ve taken percussions.


Had a call at work and it was a funny plinky plonky sound. I think it was someone xylophoning in sick.


If you like these xylophone jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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