Spring Jokes

I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It's a spring onion.

After a wet start to last weekend, the weather changed and by Easter Monday the sun was shining, which has continued this week, so it seems as good a time as any to have some spring jokes. I hope these bring you some sunshine, but it is unlikely that they will bring you too much… Continue reading Spring Jokes

Egg Jokes

A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.  The barman says, "Who's first?"

It’s Easter this weekend, so it seems as a good a time as any to have some egg jokes. Now, eggs give plenty of opportunities for puns, so this could be a long list… The only things missing are probably hilarity and originality…     Where’s the best place to find out about eggs? In… Continue reading Egg Jokes

Traffic Jokes

Got a new job as a traffic warden, and started basic training. Thought to myself, "that's just the ticket."

I had one of those mornings yesterday where traffic was worse than normal, and three hours into what should have been a 45 minute journey, I turned back as I was still only – as Bon Jovi would say – half way there. Every cloud though has a silver lining, and the traffic seems a… Continue reading Traffic Jokes

Coffee Jokes

I've got an old bag of coffee grounds that I keep for sedimental reasons.

The topic of this week’s one liners and puns is coffee jokes.  The drink might come in all sorts of varieties, as espressos, lattes, cappuccinos and the like, but these come in one variety: neither original or that funny.  At least they are all short…     Don’t think I could cope with a job… Continue reading Coffee Jokes

Lemon Jokes

Friend of mine lost his job at the lemon factory. He couldn't concentrate.

Often, the topic for the week’s one liners is from a random source, and this week is one of those. No idea why, but here are some lemon jokes. Hope they don’t leave a sour taste. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny or original…     Went to the shop today to… Continue reading Lemon Jokes

Phone Jokes

Left my phone under my pillow last night and when I woke up it was gone and there was a pound coin there. I think it was the Bluetooth fairy.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Phone Jokes. Don’t be too shocked though, like with most ring tones, at a lack of originality or humour.       I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said “Hello?”, so I said “Sorry, wrong number” and hung up.   Friend… Continue reading Phone Jokes

Castle Jokes

I sleep in a castle once every two weeks. It's my fort night.

This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Castle Jokes. You may need some defense from these… Of course, they come with the usual lack of guarantee of funniness or originality.       Dracula has moved out of his castle for a few weeks.  It’s getting a revamp.   I tried reading… Continue reading Castle Jokes

Pizza Jokes

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate pizza long before it was cool.

I had a pizza earlier in the week, and for some reason, it made me think that pizza would be a good topic for the jokes this week. Anyway, here are some pizza jokes, although without an extra topping of either originality or humour…       I was arguing with a friend in Pizza… Continue reading Pizza Jokes

Tomato Jokes

I like to put coriander on my blended tomatoes. It's soup herb.

Last week, a page all about potatoes, and with an equal lack of reason, this week a page of tomato jokes.  I have left out a couple of the really obvious ones, but still as much corn as tomato here.  Don’t expect too much originality or humour as always, and stand far enough away if… Continue reading Tomato Jokes

Potato Jokes

A friend was in a band called the Powdered Potatoes. They had a smash hit.

There’s no particular reason for the topic of this week’s puns, so here is a page of potato jokes.  They may chip away at you…  As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny or original….       You never see King Edwards or Jersey Royals presenting sport on TV. Only Common Taters.  … Continue reading Potato Jokes