Category: Randomness

Commonwealth Games Jokes

It’s the Commonwealth Fishing event today. I hear it’s all online. Anyone got a good stream?

The UK finds itself in he wonderful position of hosting he world’s third biggest summer games at the moment, after hosting the second biggest – The WPFG – in Belfast in 2013, and of course, the biggest – The London Olympics – in 2012. So, in their honour, here are some Commonwealth Games jokes. Unlike… Continue reading Commonwealth Games Jokes

Tree Jokes

A local bank is opening an ATM in a tree. If its successful, they might expand to other branches.

It’s Friday, so time for some one liners. Today, it’s the turn of tree jokes. I’m tempted to branch out to some puns,but maybe I should leaf it as it is…. As normal, these come with no guarantee of funniness or originality.     How does a tree get on the Internet? It logs in.… Continue reading Tree Jokes

Football Jokes

Great start to the season for Lion King FC: a win away, a win away, a win away...

This weekend sees the World Cup final, so it seems a good opportunity to have a few football jokes. Most seem to be about a specific team or player, but I thought I would stay neutral and just go for the silly… As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality… If you’re… Continue reading Football Jokes

Tennis Jokes

Not surprised by the high divorce rate among tennis players. Love means nothing to them.

I may be at Silverstone for the British Grand Prix this weekend – how exciting! – but there is another sporting event on in the UK which is likely to get just a little bit of attention, so with Wimbledon reaching its climax, this week’s collection of one-liners and puns is in the form of… Continue reading Tennis Jokes

Music Festival Jokes

Earth wind and fire

It’s the weekend of Glastonbury, and a couple of weeks ago I found myself at the Download festival at Donington Park, so it seems as good a time as any to have a page of one-liners and puns on the topic of music festival jokes.  As normal, don’t expect these to be either original or… Continue reading Music Festival Jokes

Scrabble Jokes

Suspect there will never be an edible version of Scrabble, but if there is, I'll eat my words.

This week’s collection of puns and one-liners is, for no particular reason, made up of Scrabble jokes. This could spell disaster…  As normal, they come with no guarantee of either funniness or originality… Old McDonald had a rubbish hand at scrabble. E-I-E-I-O. Scrabble is all fun and games until someone loses an i. Friend of… Continue reading Scrabble Jokes

Chair Jokes

I was working in a call centre when an irate caller asked to speak to someone higher up. So I stood on a chair.

The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one-liners is chair jokes. Here are a series of particularly short jokes on the topic.  As normal, they come with no guarantees of funniness or originality…     A friend of mine failed his chair exam. He’s going to resit.   How do you make a… Continue reading Chair Jokes

Sat Nav Jokes

Got stuck in traffic for so long the other day that even the sat nav said "Are we nearly there yet?"

My wife got a new sat nav yesterday, so in honour of that, here are some sat nav jokes. As normal, this collection of one-liners and puns comes with no guarantee of either funniness or originality….     I love my sat nav. I’d be lost without it.   Not sure about my new sat… Continue reading Sat Nav Jokes

Giraffe Jokes

I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.

I asked my wife what the subject should be for this week’s one-liners, and she suggested giraffes.  I have no idea why.  So, here is a collection of giraffe jokes, and some are contributed by Mrs H.  As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…       A teacher asks the… Continue reading Giraffe Jokes

Library Jokes

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on 'Finding Bigfoot'. The librarian directs him to the large print section.

It seems that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage, so it seemed that it would be a good topic for this week’s collection of one-liners and puns, so here are some library jokes.  Of course, if these were in a library, it is unlikely that the Dewey Decimal system would have them… Continue reading Library Jokes