Clock Jokes

I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made. I wonder what he's getting up to now?

Clocks seem to be all the rage at the moment, with Wednesday having been “Back To The Future Day”, the day that Marty McFly went forward in time to in the second of the films, and with clocks changing this weekend. We’ve had time jokes and time travel jokes before, so there may be a… Continue reading Clock Jokes

Airport Jokes

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant beside the airport terminal. I don’t think it will take off.

I’ve spent some time this week sitting in airports – bringing back memories of times when that was a much more frequent occurrence – and in the time that I was waiting, I was reminded of a few one liners on that theme, so here are some airport jokes.  They may not take off, and… Continue reading Airport Jokes

River Jokes

Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.

I had a pleasant view this week in a meeting looking over the Thames, so river jokes seemed as good a theme for this week’s puns and one liners as anything else. So, as normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.  … Continue reading River Jokes

Tower Jokes

Tripped whilst climbing a tower in Paris. I fell.

Here are some tower jokes. I hope you enjoy the puns and one liners, but don’t be too surprised if they are not top on originality or hilarity.       I tried reading a book about a tower with the drawbridge up, but I couldn’t get into it.   Tripped whilst climbing a tower… Continue reading Tower Jokes

Time Travel Jokes

Time travel classes: Starts 1915.

Last week’s Doctor Who jokes went down well, so on a similar theme this week, here are some time travel jokes. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny, and you might have to be a time traveller to go to a time when they were new…       I heard a really… Continue reading Time Travel Jokes

Doctor Who Jokes

Called the local council to ask about their plans to prevent Dalek attack. They said steps had been put in place.

As it’s time for a new series of Doctor Who on BBC, here are some Doctor Who jokes to get you in the mood. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny, and you might need a TARDIS to take you to a time when these were new and fresh…     What does… Continue reading Doctor Who Jokes

Theatre Jokes

Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

I was off last night for a very enjoyable evening watching a friend in a play, and thought that a good topic for this week’s puns and one liners might be theatre jokes, so here are a series that may not have you rolling in the aisles with laughter, or be the most original….  … Continue reading Theatre Jokes

Chocolate Jokes

Opened a mars bar once. Discovered martians love gin.

Perhaps I’m hungry, but the topic (no pun intended) of this week’s one liners is chocolate jokes. The normal caveats apply, that these jokes may not contain that much humour or originality… …and you might need a working knowledge of popular British chocolate bars… I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. Think it… Continue reading Chocolate Jokes

Ironing Jokes

Read a book about a fictional character pressing clothes and putting them away. It's called "The Iron, The Witch and The Wardrobe".

It was suggested to me that a good topic for this week’s puns and one-liners would be ironing jokes, so here are a few gags on that theme. As normal, they may not come with originality or hilarity…       Watching the World Ironing Championships, where the drama is unfolding…   A friend of… Continue reading Ironing Jokes

Vegetable Jokes

Saw a vegetable being delivered to the local library. That's a turnip for the books.

We’ve had pages of jokes about all sorts of food types, so on a similar theme, here are some one liners on the topic of vegetable jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of freshness – or originality if you prefer – or hilarity. There is a risk that you will guffaw more at… Continue reading Vegetable Jokes