Category: Randomness

Bear Jokes

Every time someone says "bear in mind", I think of Paddington.

Another random topic this week, here are a series of bear jokes, and no mention of walking into a bar as everyone knows that one. That said, there’s no guarantee of originality or hilarity here as usual…       What’s cold, white and smells minty? A polo bear.   What do you call Paddington… Continue reading Bear Jokes

Font Jokes

I was going to insult someone using paragraph formatting tools. It would have been entirely justified.

I had a conversation this week about different typesets, and how interesting they are, and as such, thought what better a topic for this week’s one liners than Font Jokes? Don’t expect them to be too funny or original… …and if you are interested in the history of fonts – it’s much more interesting than… Continue reading Font Jokes

Jam Jokes

A friend keeps having nightmares about half eaten bananas. We suspect it's a mid-Fyffe crisis.

This week’s collection of one liners takes the form of jam jokes, although it does stretch as far as marmalade… As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality…       “I was in a play called breakfast in bed once”. “Did you have a big role?” “No, just toast with a… Continue reading Jam Jokes

Queue Jokes

Got stuck in traffic for so long the other day that even the sat nav said "Are we nearly there yet?"

This week’s topic for one liners is queue jokes, or standing in line jokes for those on the other side of the Atlantic.  Don’t worry, there’s not a long wait for these, but there might also be not too much hilarity or originality….         Saw a bunch of people eating burgers whilst… Continue reading Queue Jokes

X-Ray Jokes

Superman inherited his X-ray ability from his family. He has parental super vision.

I started an alphabetical list of my pages of puns recently and it made it clear that there are some letters that seem less popular than others. So, here are some X-ray jokes to get another letter started. As normal, they come with no guarantee of humour or originality.       I had a… Continue reading X-Ray Jokes

Zoo Jokes

I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo. It was bread in captivity.

Going wild this week with some zoo jokes, please do enjoy. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…       I went to the zoo and saw an antelope. I had never seen an insect get married before.   I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He… Continue reading Zoo Jokes

Water Jokes

I thought about splashing out on a water bed.

The inspiration for this week’s page of one liners was a bottle of water on a table, so here are some water jokes. As usual, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality.       A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.   Every… Continue reading Water Jokes

Light Jokes

Found out the difference between a hippo and a Zippo. One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Spring is here, British Summer Time has arrived, and the sun is shining, so this week here are some light jokes. Not lightbulb jokes though as that’s a whole other genre. As normal, don’t expect too much hilarity or originality… A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with… Continue reading Light Jokes

Butter jokes

I'd tell you a rumour about some butter on a piece of toast but you might spread it.

I had a conversation about butter – among other things – earlier this week, so a page of butter jokes seemed to be as good a topic as any. As normal, don’t expect too many that are hilarious or original…       My local florist isn’t into butter. They’re not interflora either.   “I… Continue reading Butter jokes

Umbrella Jokes

Asked my iPhone, "surely I don't need an umbrella today?". Siri replied "yes, and don't call me Shirley". Turned out I had left Airplane mode on.

Hopefully spring is now here and the need for umbrellas will be less frequent after a wet winter, so here are a few umbrella jokes to whet your appetite.  As normal, don’t expect hilarity or originality…       An economist friend told me to put something away for a rainy day.  I’ve gone for an… Continue reading Umbrella Jokes